Prayer

My family has had some good experiences with prayer recently, so I thought I'd share a few thoughts on prayer.

Prayer - talking to God - is always a good way to keep him in mind and to express our gratitude.  It connects us to the Lord in ways we can't achieve any other way.  But sometimes I have wondered about why we pray for things.  It can seem contradictory for me to believe that God is all-knowing and all-powerful and then to presume to tell him what I need (he knows better than me) or to expect that I could convince him to change his mind about what will happen.  It seems that the best thing to do is simply pray, "Thy will be done" and leave it up to him to grant blessings, since surely he knows best.

A passage in the LDS Bible Dictionary (under "Prayer") addresses this, and it remains one of my favorite quotes because of its simplicity and power in explaining the true nature of prayer.

"As soon as we learn the true relationship in which we stand toward God (namely, God is our Father, and we are his children), then at once prayer becomes natural and instinctive on our part (Matt. 7:7-11).  Many of the so-called difficulties about prayer arise from forgetting this relationship.  Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other.  The object of prayer is not to change the will of God, but to secure for ourselves and for others blessings that God is already willing to grant, but that are made conditional on our asking for them.  Blessings require some work or effort on our part before we can obtain them.  Prayer is a form of work, and is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings."

A couple of things strike me in this paragraph.  First, prayer is not a way to change God's will, it's a way to change my will until it comes in line with God's will.  If our petitions for help are accompanied with a sincere desire to understand what is best for us and what God wants of us, our prayers will help us to see the best way forward.

Just the other day, a friend of mine reminded me of the fable of the young man who by luck comes to own a horse and the villagers consider him very fortunate, but a wise man says, "Who can say what is good or bad?"  The boy is thrown from the horse and breaks his leg and is made lame, and the villagers consider it a great misfortune, but the wise man says, "Who can say what is good or bad?"  The army recruiters come to the village to conscript all able men to fight in the great war, but the young man is not taken because of the bad leg.  While the villagers consider the young man fortunate to survive the war, the wise man again asks, "Who can say what is good or bad?"

The answer, of course, is that God knows what is good for us, but we often do not.  Prayer can help us understand God's will (i.e., understand the good in even our most difficult circumstances) and find blessings in our every day.

The second thing that strikes me is the concept that prayer is a form of work.  I've always believed that God operates within natural law, and that so-called miracles are simply phenomena that we don't understand, but that God certainly does.  One of those natural laws is that work has to be done in order to achieve a change.  Physics uses this equation: Work = Force x Displacement.  The scriptures explain the same thing this way (D&C 130:20-21):

"There is a law, irrevocably decreed in heaven before the foundations of this world, upon which all blessings are predicated.  And when we obtain any blessing from God, it is by obedience to that law upon which it is predicated." 

In a spiritual sense, a blessing is a change for our benefit, and such a change requires work.  Obedience to a principle of the gospel is the work that results in blessings - temporal and spiritual growth.

Prayer is a form of work.  When we can do nothing more to achieve a desired blessing, we can pray, and that will "count" as work.  What a fabulous revelation!  This is the very nature of God's mercy to us: When we do all that we can to follow Christ, we are blessed, but it's still not enough to overcome our imperfection.  After all that we can do, we rely on the grace of Christ, which we call upon by prayer to the Father in Christ's name.

So back to the experiences of my family.  Since we arrived at our new home in Dublin, Ireland, we instituted a new idea in our family prayers.  Every Sunday we discuss the things for which we want to pray in the coming week and create a prayer list on a little card.  Each night as we hold family prayer, the one who prays includes everything on the list.  The list is revised the next Sunday.

This has worked out great, and we have seen real results.  It has made our prayers more focused, concentrating our "work" on the most important things.  We can feel the energy of the prayers making a change in us and in the circumstances about which we are praying.  It has totally changed my outlook on prayer as I've seen the value of praying for something specific.  I know that God already knows what we need, and that he knows it better than I do.  But praying for things we feel we need has opened our hearts to understanding God's will and opened the window for God to grant them.

Isn't it about time?

As daylight savings time ended and we went around the house changing clocks Sunday morning, Caleb asked why we change the time.  It does actually seem a bit strange that we can just decide to change time twice a year, when usually time seems so set, so unchanging.  So I've been thinking about time and what it means to us in life.

Time - at least as we know it - seems to be an earthly construct, unique to our mortal lives on earth.  The New Testament proclaims that "one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day"  (2 Peter 3:8).  The Book of Mormon explains, "all is as one day with God, and time only is measured unto men" (Alma 40:8).  Although man invented the hours and minutes of the clock (and can change the hour at whim), we are inherently bound by the days, seasons, and generations of this earth.  The eternal realm is not bound by time.  Even within our galaxy, Einstein and others have shown how time is relative.

(Side note: It is interesting to see how our natural, inherent divisions of time result from death/sleep and rebirth/awakening - the setting and rising of the sun, the seasonal cycle of  plants and animals, the generational "passing on" from parents to children.  Where death is conquered (i.e. immortality), does time cease to be measurable?)

I believe that our life here on earth is an opportunity for each of us to learn to become more like God by learning to choose the good things in life, and reject the bad things.  In this way we develop god-like attributes (love, mercy, justice, righteousness, etc).  Sometimes I think that time is one of those earthly constructs that binds our thinking and keeps us from understanding the ways of God.  I think the romantic ideal of overcoming time appeals to me, and I have thought about how one might escape time (at least in one's thoughts) and learn to think timelessly.  When the scriptures exhort us to "remember" we are being asked to bring the past into our present awareness.  Likewise, when we look forward in faith, we bring the future into our present awareness.  This concept of expanding the present and bringing all time into the present appeals to me.

However, "overcoming" time seems less relevant to me lately.  The fact is that time is a part of this earth life, and exists for a reason, and we're probably better off trying to figure out how to use it than trying to get around it.

Time is a unique kind of resource - it's totally renewable, predictable, and we all get the same amount - 24 hours each day.  (But it's still awfully hard to budget!)  How we use our time each day adds up to how we use our life and ultimately what we become in the eternities.  As the prophet Alma taught, "For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors" (Alma 34:32).

Illness

Despite my best intentions, this week's post is late because we were all hit by a stomach bug on the weekend. After several days of struggling with unpleasant GI issues, I'm back to normal and feeling great. I'll write a proper post next week, but for now I'll just list a link to 2 Nephi 2:11 which teaches us why getting sick is a part of life.

A New Start - Baptism

I'm making a new start on this blog and my goal is to publish a new posting each Sunday. The last several months have been crazy as we have been orchestrating our international move and taking vacations. Now that life should be getting back to normal, I hope to make a weekly effort to record my thoughts. It's a great way to force me to think about spiritual topics, organize my thoughts, and express them in a format that I can look back at from time to time.

So for this week, I wanted to record some of the feelings I had when my second son, Caleb, was baptized this summer. He turned eight years old in April, and so became eligible to be baptized in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Caleb was in the States at the time, but he decided he wanted to wait to be baptized until he returned to Cameroon in June.

The baptismal service was very nice. Many good friends - Cameroonians and Americans - attended the service, which included singing, prayer, talks on the meaning of baptism and confirmation, and of course the baptism itself. I baptized Caleb in the outdoor font and held him lovingly as he came out of the water and began his "new life."

As I pondered that day, I have been struck at the deep and beautiful symbolism of baptism. These symbols help express the rich meaning of this special act, and why I was overwhelmed with emotion as Caleb was baptized. Here are some of the symbols associated with baptism.

REBIRTH:

Referring to baptism, Jesus said, "Except a man be born of water and of the Spirit, he cannot enter into the kingdom of God" (John 3:5). Being born of water has become known as being "born again" - accepting Jesus Christ, and beginning a new life walking in His way. This symbolism really only works with baptism by total immersion - as your old life is buried in the water (symbolizing the grave) and you come out of the water (the grave) with new life. This reflects also the death and resurrection of Christ and reminds the believer of the promise that through Christ we will also live again after death. I love that the Earth is full of such reminders of rebirth, as winter turns to spring, for example. The concept of rebirth is central to the gospel of Jesus Christ.

FORGIVENESS:

Jesus Christ has promised to forgive us if we come to Him. Through the prophet Isaiah He said, "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool" (Isaiah 1:18). The water of baptism is cleansing water - our sins, mistakes and blemishes are washed away as we come out of the water. Caleb recognized that he was "clean" and wanted to avoid making any mistakes for as long as he could. I remember feeling the same way when I was baptized - I didn't want to get "dirty" by doing anything wrong. We all do make mistakes again, but we don't have to be baptized again to become clean. Baptism is a symbol of the cleansing power, but that power is always available to us through Jesus, if we repent. Through sincere repentance and faith in Jesus, we can call again on the blessings of our baptism to be clean again, to start fresh.


There are other symbols and concepts associated with baptism - books could be and have been written about it - but these two stick out to me now. It has been such a joy to see Caleb understand these principles, to desire them, and to make the choice to accept Jesus Christ in his life. It was a powerful reminder of the reasons why I made the same choice 26 years ago.

Giving (by Jefferson)

I think often of the young man who asked Jesus, "What good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?" (see Matthew 19, Mark 10 and Luke 18). Like this young man, I have tried since my youth to keep the commandments. While I'm not perfect, I think I've got the basics down - no murder, adultery, stealing, lying, cheating, etc. I love God, my family and my neighbor. I keep the Sabbath holy, pay tithing, keep the Word of Wisdom, and serve in the Church and the community. But, like the young man in the Bible, I can't help feeling I still lack some great deed or attribute.

Well, the Lord gave the answer in pretty clear terms: "If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come follow me." Simple, eh?

In Mormon theology we call this idea the Law of Consecration. One consecrates oneself to the work of the Lord (which of course is the work of serving our fellow beings), gives up the selfish pursuit of personal wealth, and dedicates oneself instead to the pursuit of what I call "common wealth" or the common good.

It doesn't take faith or a great deal of imagination to see how many of the world's grave problems stem from putting personal wealth before common wealth. Warlords perpetuate conflicts to maintain their economic advantage at the cost of thousands of lives. Oil corporations continue to fight the development of alternative energies despite the increasingly obvious cost to the earth. The President of Cameroon (and Zimbabwe, and many other countries) build opulent mansions while his people suffer in squalor. I could go on and on, but this isn't meant to be a political blog!

Living in Africa makes the gap between my personal wealth and the common wealth of the people all around me painfully stark. I pay our housekeeper a generous wage of $200 a month, with which she supports more people than I do with my $7000 a month. My 6-bedroom home dwarfs the small one-room apartments of most locals in Yaounde. I'm well aware that I am rich beyond the imagining of most people in the world.

And I'm convinced that I need to give to those in need, and I want to. The idealist in me wants to give it all, to create an equal society with neither rich nor poor, to increase the common wealth even at the expense of my personal wealth. But how do I do it?

Unfortunately, the Bible doesn't really offer us a good example. The young man failed to meet the challenge. Had he agreed, how would he have done it? How would he have chosen who gets his wealth? How much would he have retained for his own basic needs? Or let's take the common question: What would Jesus do? Obviously, Jesus gave everything - all his time, effort, love, and even his life - to help others. But in his mortal life, Jesus was never rich. If things had been different, if Jesus was born a wealthy prince, with a guaranteed monthly income 30 times that of the commoner, what would he have done? It's easy to say he would have given it away. But how?

Here are some real life examples:

My gardener (who attends church with us and who was really only hired as a way to give him and his family a source of income) comes to me and asks what I'm going to do with the 25-year old Toyota Tercel I drive when I leave Cameroon. He suggests that if I gave him the car, it would change his life and the life of his family. Now, I would love to give him the car. I certainly never expected to get much out of selling the car - maybe $2500. And I'd gladly give that up for him and his family. But it's complicated. He is barely taking care of his family. How in the world would he pay for insurance, registration, and gas? What happens when the car needs minor repairs? And why should I give him the car, when there are others in just as much need, and he's already received so much of my help? And what about the long term? What he needs more than a car is an ethic of hard work that will put him on a path to sustainable self-reliance. If anything such a gift would only underscore his current strategy of "getting in with the white guy." This is the kind of dependence I want to discourage. So what do I do? What would Jesus do? It's not easy.

When I go to church each Sunday, I often get approached for help. It always comes in the same way.

"Brother," they begin, "I need to talk with you."

"OK, I have a minute now, what do you need?"

"Oh no, not now, later. I'll find you after church."

After church, they don't come up to me, but wait around, hoping I'll give them the chance to talk. I say, "What was it you wanted to ask me?" And they gratefully begin their story. My wife has a tooth ache and needs $10 for the dentist. My shoes are worn out - would you have an extra pair of size 9? My child is sick and needs medicine. I haven't had a job all year, and I need to eat. These are mostly people I don't know. They came to me because I'm a wealthy American. Their speeches are well practiced; they may or may not be true. But regardless, they are all in need. What would Jesus do? Would he set up a desk and let them all line up as he hands out money to anyone that asks? Would he read their minds and hearts and give only to the sincere? Would he teach them a skill (how to fish)? Probably all those things? It's not easy.

One well-meaning Cameroonian approached me one day with a "proposal." This is common practice in Africa, where the local population has been trained to get foreign aid from the West by submitting some economic development proposal. Most of the foreign aid money goes into salaries for the director and SUVs and per diem for conferences to plan what the group would do if they hadn't spent all the money already. So I read this proposal, which is (I'm not making this up) a plan to create a small company to specialize in consulting local NGOs and drafting proposals for them to get funding from foreign donors. All he needs, he explains, is a little start up money to get this consulting company started. What would Jesus do? Would he shake his head in despair? Would he scream, "Instead of wasting your efforts on writing proposals about writing proposals, why don't you get up and do some WORK? Use your hands and really HELP someone!" Would he just give the guy the requested "capital"? Probably none of those things. It's not easy.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has a welfare program that gets as close to the right answer as I can imagine right now. Emphasizing both self-reliance and generous giving, the Church helps individuals, families, communities, and nations in ways that I could never do on my own. So we give to the Church through fast offerings. Is it enough?

I'll keep asking the question, and keep looking for ways to give more, until I find the answer.

Fatherhood (by Jefferson)

A few weeks ago, I was asked to give a talk in our small congregation in Yaounde about fatherhood and the father's role in the family. I thought for several days about what I should say. One of the things I wanted to address was child abuse, because hitting and beating children is so common here. I tried to think about how I could tell the Cameroonian fathers that they should not beat their children, without sounding like a holier-than-thou white man. I've heard often enough that beating children (and wives for that matter) is the "African way" and a part of their culture.

Well, the truth is there are parts of all of our cultures - mine, too! - that are simply unhealthy and destructive to the family. Because the family is so vital to God's plan for us, the forces of evil are focused on destroying it, whether in Africa, or America, or anywhere. The challenge of following Christ in today's world is to find those things which seem so normal and natural but that are actually obstacles to living full, happy lives. It's definitely not always easy to see these kinds of things in one's own culture.

In my talk I told the classic Aesop fable of the North Wind and the Sun. The North Wind claims to be more powerful than the Sun and challenges the Sun to a contest - who can force the coat off of a weary traveler passing by. The Wind blows and blows, ever more violently, to blow the coat off. But the traveler wraps the coat tighter and tighter around himself to keep warm. The Sun takes its turn, and gently warms the traveler with its rays, until finally he takes off the coat. The moral: Kindness and warmth are more effective than force and violence in getting others to do what you want.

Jesus' life exemplified this story. While violence surrounded him (stoning was common punishment in his culture and people cried out for crucifixion - a horrific capital punishment), he showed warmth, kindness, and love. Jesus explained (I'm paraphrasing) that it's easy to love your friends who love you back, but that we should even love those who despise us. If we can't treat our children with love - our children who loves us naturally, unconditionally, completely - how can we attain the kind of perfect love Christ taught?

I think the fathers understood my message. And I've been thinking how I can be more patient, more gentle, more "sunny" in my relationship with my kids, too.

Introduction

We (Stacey and Jefferson) are life-long members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as the Mormon Church).   Last year, we started a family blog site (mamaduckfarm.blogspot.com) as a way to keep family and friends updated on the day-to-day happenings in our family as we journey around the world.  Recently, we've felt a need to record some of the spiritual journeys we have taken, individually, as a couple, and as a family.

This blog is mostly for ourselves, as a record of our journey.  But we also hope that through these spiritual reflections our friends, families, and others might get to know us better and understand how our faith strengthens us, inspires us, and motivates us.  Some entries will be by Jefferson, and others by Stacey.  Many will come from our discussions together of our experiences, ponderings, and questions.  We won't always be right, and others won't always agree with us.  We are open to everyone and we encourage comments (but reserve the right to delete comments that are contentious or disrespectful).  Our desire to share our experiences comes from the happiness the gospel brings us.

We know that God lives.  He has had and continues to have a direct impact on our lives.  We have been richly blessed by God's tender mercies, and we feel deeply grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and its influence in our lives.  Christ invited all: "Come, follow me."  We are trying to be true followers of Christ, and we believe this blog will help us in that life-long endeavor.