Giving (by Jefferson)

I think often of the young man who asked Jesus, "What good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?" (see Matthew 19, Mark 10 and Luke 18). Like this young man, I have tried since my youth to keep the commandments. While I'm not perfect, I think I've got the basics down - no murder, adultery, stealing, lying, cheating, etc. I love God, my family and my neighbor. I keep the Sabbath holy, pay tithing, keep the Word of Wisdom, and serve in the Church and the community. But, like the young man in the Bible, I can't help feeling I still lack some great deed or attribute.

Well, the Lord gave the answer in pretty clear terms: "If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come follow me." Simple, eh?

In Mormon theology we call this idea the Law of Consecration. One consecrates oneself to the work of the Lord (which of course is the work of serving our fellow beings), gives up the selfish pursuit of personal wealth, and dedicates oneself instead to the pursuit of what I call "common wealth" or the common good.

It doesn't take faith or a great deal of imagination to see how many of the world's grave problems stem from putting personal wealth before common wealth. Warlords perpetuate conflicts to maintain their economic advantage at the cost of thousands of lives. Oil corporations continue to fight the development of alternative energies despite the increasingly obvious cost to the earth. The President of Cameroon (and Zimbabwe, and many other countries) build opulent mansions while his people suffer in squalor. I could go on and on, but this isn't meant to be a political blog!

Living in Africa makes the gap between my personal wealth and the common wealth of the people all around me painfully stark. I pay our housekeeper a generous wage of $200 a month, with which she supports more people than I do with my $7000 a month. My 6-bedroom home dwarfs the small one-room apartments of most locals in Yaounde. I'm well aware that I am rich beyond the imagining of most people in the world.

And I'm convinced that I need to give to those in need, and I want to. The idealist in me wants to give it all, to create an equal society with neither rich nor poor, to increase the common wealth even at the expense of my personal wealth. But how do I do it?

Unfortunately, the Bible doesn't really offer us a good example. The young man failed to meet the challenge. Had he agreed, how would he have done it? How would he have chosen who gets his wealth? How much would he have retained for his own basic needs? Or let's take the common question: What would Jesus do? Obviously, Jesus gave everything - all his time, effort, love, and even his life - to help others. But in his mortal life, Jesus was never rich. If things had been different, if Jesus was born a wealthy prince, with a guaranteed monthly income 30 times that of the commoner, what would he have done? It's easy to say he would have given it away. But how?

Here are some real life examples:

My gardener (who attends church with us and who was really only hired as a way to give him and his family a source of income) comes to me and asks what I'm going to do with the 25-year old Toyota Tercel I drive when I leave Cameroon. He suggests that if I gave him the car, it would change his life and the life of his family. Now, I would love to give him the car. I certainly never expected to get much out of selling the car - maybe $2500. And I'd gladly give that up for him and his family. But it's complicated. He is barely taking care of his family. How in the world would he pay for insurance, registration, and gas? What happens when the car needs minor repairs? And why should I give him the car, when there are others in just as much need, and he's already received so much of my help? And what about the long term? What he needs more than a car is an ethic of hard work that will put him on a path to sustainable self-reliance. If anything such a gift would only underscore his current strategy of "getting in with the white guy." This is the kind of dependence I want to discourage. So what do I do? What would Jesus do? It's not easy.

When I go to church each Sunday, I often get approached for help. It always comes in the same way.

"Brother," they begin, "I need to talk with you."

"OK, I have a minute now, what do you need?"

"Oh no, not now, later. I'll find you after church."

After church, they don't come up to me, but wait around, hoping I'll give them the chance to talk. I say, "What was it you wanted to ask me?" And they gratefully begin their story. My wife has a tooth ache and needs $10 for the dentist. My shoes are worn out - would you have an extra pair of size 9? My child is sick and needs medicine. I haven't had a job all year, and I need to eat. These are mostly people I don't know. They came to me because I'm a wealthy American. Their speeches are well practiced; they may or may not be true. But regardless, they are all in need. What would Jesus do? Would he set up a desk and let them all line up as he hands out money to anyone that asks? Would he read their minds and hearts and give only to the sincere? Would he teach them a skill (how to fish)? Probably all those things? It's not easy.

One well-meaning Cameroonian approached me one day with a "proposal." This is common practice in Africa, where the local population has been trained to get foreign aid from the West by submitting some economic development proposal. Most of the foreign aid money goes into salaries for the director and SUVs and per diem for conferences to plan what the group would do if they hadn't spent all the money already. So I read this proposal, which is (I'm not making this up) a plan to create a small company to specialize in consulting local NGOs and drafting proposals for them to get funding from foreign donors. All he needs, he explains, is a little start up money to get this consulting company started. What would Jesus do? Would he shake his head in despair? Would he scream, "Instead of wasting your efforts on writing proposals about writing proposals, why don't you get up and do some WORK? Use your hands and really HELP someone!" Would he just give the guy the requested "capital"? Probably none of those things. It's not easy.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has a welfare program that gets as close to the right answer as I can imagine right now. Emphasizing both self-reliance and generous giving, the Church helps individuals, families, communities, and nations in ways that I could never do on my own. So we give to the Church through fast offerings. Is it enough?

I'll keep asking the question, and keep looking for ways to give more, until I find the answer.

Fatherhood (by Jefferson)

A few weeks ago, I was asked to give a talk in our small congregation in Yaounde about fatherhood and the father's role in the family. I thought for several days about what I should say. One of the things I wanted to address was child abuse, because hitting and beating children is so common here. I tried to think about how I could tell the Cameroonian fathers that they should not beat their children, without sounding like a holier-than-thou white man. I've heard often enough that beating children (and wives for that matter) is the "African way" and a part of their culture.

Well, the truth is there are parts of all of our cultures - mine, too! - that are simply unhealthy and destructive to the family. Because the family is so vital to God's plan for us, the forces of evil are focused on destroying it, whether in Africa, or America, or anywhere. The challenge of following Christ in today's world is to find those things which seem so normal and natural but that are actually obstacles to living full, happy lives. It's definitely not always easy to see these kinds of things in one's own culture.

In my talk I told the classic Aesop fable of the North Wind and the Sun. The North Wind claims to be more powerful than the Sun and challenges the Sun to a contest - who can force the coat off of a weary traveler passing by. The Wind blows and blows, ever more violently, to blow the coat off. But the traveler wraps the coat tighter and tighter around himself to keep warm. The Sun takes its turn, and gently warms the traveler with its rays, until finally he takes off the coat. The moral: Kindness and warmth are more effective than force and violence in getting others to do what you want.

Jesus' life exemplified this story. While violence surrounded him (stoning was common punishment in his culture and people cried out for crucifixion - a horrific capital punishment), he showed warmth, kindness, and love. Jesus explained (I'm paraphrasing) that it's easy to love your friends who love you back, but that we should even love those who despise us. If we can't treat our children with love - our children who loves us naturally, unconditionally, completely - how can we attain the kind of perfect love Christ taught?

I think the fathers understood my message. And I've been thinking how I can be more patient, more gentle, more "sunny" in my relationship with my kids, too.

Introduction

We (Stacey and Jefferson) are life-long members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (also known as the Mormon Church).   Last year, we started a family blog site (mamaduckfarm.blogspot.com) as a way to keep family and friends updated on the day-to-day happenings in our family as we journey around the world.  Recently, we've felt a need to record some of the spiritual journeys we have taken, individually, as a couple, and as a family.

This blog is mostly for ourselves, as a record of our journey.  But we also hope that through these spiritual reflections our friends, families, and others might get to know us better and understand how our faith strengthens us, inspires us, and motivates us.  Some entries will be by Jefferson, and others by Stacey.  Many will come from our discussions together of our experiences, ponderings, and questions.  We won't always be right, and others won't always agree with us.  We are open to everyone and we encourage comments (but reserve the right to delete comments that are contentious or disrespectful).  Our desire to share our experiences comes from the happiness the gospel brings us.

We know that God lives.  He has had and continues to have a direct impact on our lives.  We have been richly blessed by God's tender mercies, and we feel deeply grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ and its influence in our lives.  Christ invited all: "Come, follow me."  We are trying to be true followers of Christ, and we believe this blog will help us in that life-long endeavor.